Paying Back/Reality Check

So yesterday I received a phone call from my old advisor at The Washington Center where I did my internship thru. Anyway he asked me to come to a “conference” they were having where I would be one of 5 other people on this panel they were having for Law and Criminal Justice Students to ask questions about how you got to where you are now and it was so they could see what other things you could do with your degree rather than just be a cop.
First of all when I arrive, I went with two of my interns from work because they were going to the same place and I had no idea where this place was so I went with them. Then I got up and start talking to one of the advisors that I knew from before and she told me that there was water in the front for the panel members and I could take mine to help me cool down because I was sweating from the walk. So I walk over and take my bottle of water and go back and talk to some of the interns. THEN….one of the other advisors from the program walked up to me and was like excuse me…is that your water or did you take it from up front…and I was like I took it from up because I am one of the panel members. She was like OH…and walked away…AWK..I was so nervous in the first place and then she accused me of stealing…lol.
Anyway the other panel members started to show up and my old advisor came in with one of the panel members so I went up to introduce myself and I come to realize that I am the only criminal justice person, the other 4 were all lawyers and one had actually moved on and has had his own successful business for the last 10 years. They all had been through law school..well one was in her first semester but she had done some other cool things and her husband is a lawyer. So…they all introduce themselves and I was 4th in the line of 5 so they all have these elaborate stories of traveling the world for a year before law school and then working with the awesome people…starting their own business, and then all eyes were on me. I said “Hi I am Ali Gunderson, I interned last fall with TWC at Interpol. Once I returned home I worked with troubled teenage girls until I got a phone call and the offer to come out to DC and work. And that’s all I got, I haven’t done as many cool things as them!”
Yes that was all I had…then there was tons of questions on going to law school or not…again I had nothing…So..it was definitely a reality check that I still have a long way to go. I may have this “really cool” job in Washington DC but … it got me to thinking if I should actually go to graduate school or if I should wait until someone wants to pay me to go to graduate school or if I should just forget about it.
The only question that was directed to me and was at the very end and was asked by one of our interns…was… what were your plans you had before you got this job and what are your plans now that you do have this job. I was like…well I did want to work for the DEA and then I decided that family was too important to me then to be out on the street fighting against scary people that could find out who my family is and then they are at risk too…and then for my now…I said right now I have no idea what I want to do. I am kind of flying by the seat of my pants seeing what comes my way.
So that is why I started thinking about if I wanted to go to Grad school or not or just keep flying by the seat of my pants!!
After it was all over my old advisor was like you did great you had a tough job to be there for all the criminal justice people and they didn't really ask questions but I think you did great with what was asked of you. So hopefully it was meaningful to someone.